My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
