Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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