Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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