I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
