need another drink. this is the easiest way
look no pants
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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