How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
