I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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