Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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