Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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