hotel room ftw
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
