You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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