nut hugger
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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