True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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