I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
