I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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