I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
