Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
