mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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