i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
