Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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