suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
