But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
