I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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