Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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