grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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