This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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