he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They are going to name an STD after you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
