AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just cropdusted the office
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
