sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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