i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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