he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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