What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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