I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She bit a glass in half.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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