why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
