guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My pussy is not your playground.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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