I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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