So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
