so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
