Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
