no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
