I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
