well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
