There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
