This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am mentally ready for anal.
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