i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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