He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
