it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
