Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
