whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
