Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
