Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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