So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
